Las Vegas: The Quick & Dirty


Talk about building up the suspense for this last post about my sisters summer road trip I took in July. My apologies! But just for that wait, I will share 5  tips that got me out of Sin City alive…

After leaving Bryce Canyon before sunrise, we hauled ass back across 3 states to make it to the Las Vegas airport by 10:30 am to pick up my sister’s husband, Garrett, to begin our 4 day binge in the most gluttonous city in the world.


We cabbed it to the Excalibur, and met up with two more friends who had already been there for 2 days. We went up to one of the rooms and immediately opened a bottle of whiskey and started drinking and visiting while we changed into our swimsuits and headed down to the pool.

There is much to be desired at the Excalibur pools, BUT it definitely addressed our needs. Water, bar, and shaded seating–which was acquired by some miracle because it was loungy, comfy furniture in the shade AND we did not have to pay for it. Pools: Tip 1) If your pool sucks or there are too many kids or you really want a swim up bar, you can pay to enter other hotel’s pool areas and enjoy their lazy river, 18 and over sections, and hot tubs filled with booze– which is probably a real thing.



I crashed way early, and while everyone went out to dinner, I ordered pizza and watched a movie back in the hotel room, which I was sharing with 4 other people. Lodging: Tip 2) Share your hotel room with as many people as possible. Obviously, it’s cheaper, and the front desk will usually hook you up with an extra cot/mattress for free. You aren’t going to be spending any time in there other than to pass out so, get a shit room and cram it full of your friends. 


The next day my friend woke us up to his victorious recanting of how he won $1,000 the night before, after everyone went to bed. His offer to buy breakfast was greeted with an enthusiastic and hungover “YES!” We decided on the buffet at Wynn Las Vegas which began with a whole ordeal with management when they refused to let one of our group in because he had a sleeveless shirt on.

Our friend pointed out the women wearing swimsuits and see-through cover-ups waiting in line and made the argument that it was sexist to have a dress code for one group of people and no one else. We were given the option to purchase a lovely $10 Wynn t-shirt to be granted admittance.


Our friend stayed calm for the most part but had some choice words for the hotel GM. Let’s just say we won in the end. There was no waiting in line for us –peasants!– and we were seated at a grand table in the garden atrium surrounded by plant and floral installations and given our own server who was instructed not to let our mimosa glasses ever get empty. It was amazing, and we ate and drank for over 3 hours. Tip 3) Regardless of the whole shirt fiasco, eating at the Wynn was one of the funnest things we did as a group. The food is amazing, it’s reasonably priced, the ambiance is magical, and it was perfect for taking our time and visiting while getting classy drunk.


We spent that evening sight seeing the strip like your typical tourist– drinking, taking selfies, and hitting up all of the essential hotels and casinos– the Bellagio, the Luxor, Mandalay Bay, MGM Grand… you get the picture. And when you are at the Venetian and you have the opportunity to meet Mike Tyson… do that. 


The next morning I headed out to the Neon Museum solo because no one else wanted to get up early. This leads me directly to: Tip 4) Do not miss going to the Neon Museum. Day or night, this is such a cool part of Las Vegas history that must be seen, and you will learn some gritty secrets and scandals about the infamous city of lights. The rest of the friends totally regretted missing out on this tour.








We spent the rest of the day wandering around The Fremont Experience enjoying the weirdos and bright lights of old Las Vegas. We ate brunch at Container Park, which is a park, outdoor music venue, shops, giant kid playground, and restaurants fashioned out of shipping containers. We visited Atomic Liquor and spent a good hour wetting our whistle and resting our feet.



Back at the casinos, we quickly learned the best way to get free drinks: Tip 5) Sit up at one of the bars with the video poker machine directly in the bar, get out a $20 and for the next hour or two, play low bets. You will have a bar tender at your disposal handing out {free} stiff drinks and it doesn’t matter if you lose, because, really, you’ve already won with this tip. 

Big winner at the Friends slots

And then there was that one night {after hours of drinking} we decided to go to the Criss Angel magic show. My opinion: probably don’t go. But we did have a good catch line for the rest of the night… Mind Freak…


Last day in Vegas! Everyone went home, however, myself, Beth and Garrett met up with Garrett’s parents at their time-share just a few miles off the strip. I was flying home early the next morning, but that night we drove all around the strip marveling at the lights and chaos.


We finished the evening by catching the late night show of Beatles LOVE by Cirque Du Soleil at the Mirage. It was a magical, interactive, musical experience and I found myself crying, and singing along to my favorite Beatles songs.


This was a perfect ending to an adventurous, wild, desert road trip across some of the most beautiful land in the country. I was given the gift of the healing desert, epic sister bonding time, and absurdity in excess.

What is the best {or worst} show you have gone to in Las Vegas? Leave your comment below! xo





1 thought on “Las Vegas: The Quick & Dirty

  1. What a great post! Thoroughly enjoyed reading it and you make me want to go to Vegas!!! And Mike Tyson…..seriously? That was a great photo. He looked genuinely pleased to meet you:)

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