I woke up today, this first Monday of 2015, with a heavy feeling in my heart. The emotion was inexplicable and as I bustled about getting a 7 year old and myself ready, and preparing for the morning commute, the feeling became more intense. I was suddenly overcome with a feeling of inadequacy and I began to feel extremely insecure about myself-what was I doing with my life? Am I a failure?… and so on and so on. Not a fun way to start your morning. My soul felt heavy and I just couldn’t shake this heavy, sad feeling.
In the car, stuck in traffic I was stewing in my own silly misery, flipping through the radio stations. I stopped the dial when I heard a familiar beat. Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds. I began bobbing my head to the rhythm and my daughter and I started singing along, the cars crawling towards their destinations. I checked the time, we had a school bus stop to get to and I was growing agitated because of the lack of movement on the highway.
As we drove towards the bus stop, I became frantic, positive we had missed it. We turned down the street to see the bus with its flashing red lights and children boarding! I stuck my arm out the car window, waving frantically as we drove up to the corner. Scrambling out of the car and with a quick kiss goodbye, I had successfully sent a 2nd grader on her way to school on time. I have to admit, that felt pretty damn good.
15 minutes later, I’m walking into work and notice an espresso cart set up. Hmmm, interesting. So I walk up and ask if they take debit cards. No, but I can pay next time. That means I got free coffee. FREE COFFEE. It was actually a double americano, and was absolutely perfect.
After that, the rest of the day went as such: I was super productive at work, and while working on some data entry, I was able to listen to the final two episodes of Serial Podcast. I came across an amazing opportunity (which I can’t tell you about at the moment, but soon!) which will involve an epic weekend trip. I finally contacted the student loan people and consolidated my Department of Education loans. My total monthly payment: $40 per month.
As I walked to my car at the end of the work day, I looked around at the brilliant fog that was enveloping buildings, trees, people. On the drive home, the fog cleared and I was given a spectacular multicolored sunset.
Damn, I needed that. I was given little victories all day – I wasn’t just some insignificant speck. It may sound dramatic, what with all of the strife occurring around the world these days, but I just really needed to know if the universe gave a shit about me and my little bubble called life.
I hear ya loud and clear universe. I am grateful and humbled. Thank you.